Optimize

A poem

Some good episodes this week. For Moment of Zen, we had Katherine Boyle and Mike Solana back to discuss whether a liberal arts degree is worth it and the state of San Francisco.

For Upstream, we dropped a podcast season we’re doing with Delian, Jacob Helberg, and Christian Garrett—first guest with Palmer Luckey.

For our new show Media Empires, we dropped an episode with Packy McCormick.

While a lot’s been going on, I’m still on a high from the launch of Turpentine. More shows and updates forthcoming—if you have feedback or a podcast idea do reach out. As we’ll share more about at some point, podcasts are just the beginning.

Also I’m in SF for much of the summer, perhaps we’ll do a Turpentine meet up or something of the sort.

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As for this week’s post, I’m doing something a bit different. I’m sharing a poem I wrote nearly a decade ago, right after college, called “Optimize”.

To me it reads as terrible and childish and annoyingly black-and-white about tech, but I still find some parts of it charming within that context (and other parts cringe, or not what I believe). I’d like to be inspired to write another poem, so perhaps sharing this will inspire me.

Upcoming posts will be the usual style of posts—upcoming topics include the fertility crisis, immigration, and trade.

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I’m out to lunch with a friend and he asks me — what are you optimizing for?

I think to myself, “what are you optimizing for?”

Success?

Thinking then everything will suck less

But still upset because no matter how much you will accomplish it’s never enough yet the only thing you can think about is what’s next such stress and that your ego is unchecked?

What are you optimizing for?

Network?

Eagerly waiting for your pants pocket to vibrate

Seeking validation from total strangers prioritizing them over loved ones

To what end?

Mistaking communities rooted in commerce for true friends

Followers and swallowers

What are you optimizing for?

Skills?

Rescheduling spreading yourself thin

It’s like, why suck at just one thing?

Jack of all trades

And we don’t know jack about dick

on Twitter intellectually masturbating, just jacking a dick

I guess it’s not a coincidence that the addiction to twitter was hatched and then jacked by a Jack and a Dick*

I ask you again

What are you optimizing for?

Building the next big thing?

Pick a market, mark it like Mark did

Capitalize on our envy

Cyber cigarettes with no Nicorrete, in effect making us intellectually impotent

I mean to serve disses would be a disservice so I just disconnect.

I mean all this tech is great, but sometimes I feel like the

iWatch (sic) is watching me,

the iTouch is touching me,

I feel that the internet snark is making fun of me

It doesn’t feel fruitful even though it makes a money tree

It’s ironic that the loneliest people always run a company

[Periscope] is watching me watch them watch me

I have to ask, who’s watching the technology?

So when you ask me what I‘m optimizing for, I’m optimizing for the things that can’t be optimized.

Like being human

Can’t Google that you can’t see it with

Google Maps or

Google Glass or

Google Earth.

Every Saturday I turn my phone off,

Try to forget the world, and

Remember the universe.

I’m still fucking with the iPhone 4

Sometimes I even ask what the iPhone’s for

I mean love tech

I want everyone in the world to have an iPad.

I just also want us to make eye contact.

I see two homeless people having sex in the alley,

My friend points and calls it “analogue”.

I don’t wanna get lost in it, it don’t feel right

I stand next to the homeless just to remember what reality smells like.

I’l bring the human back and I’ll do it in your terms:

I’ll be the “Uber for introspection”

“Compassion for the Pinterest generation”

I am an easier way to accept love online.

I'll be forgiveness, but for Millennials.

No.

Too much optimizing.

In fact our most precious moments in life happen when we stop optimizing and just let things happen. When we waste time with the people we love.

Anything worth optimizing for isn’t worth dying for

So when you ask me what I’m optimizing for, I will tell you

I’m optimizing for the things that can’t be optimized.

Real love isn’t scalable

Unlimited choice can be unbearable

Happiness is when you love someone specific

But it’s hard to love specifically when everything is available

It’s not optimal to give so much of me to a person but I DO.

To try to hack a relationship is to miss the whole point of having one in the first place

It’s not hackable!

This business of my lifestyle,

It’s not venture backable!

The thing I’m mostly trying to grow,

My gratitude,

My character,

My attitude,

How come I don’t find that on

Hacker News?

I’m optimizing for

trees and the

bees and the

breeze.

Money, status, can’t measure my worth

My philosophy photosynthesize through plant life and thus

I give back to the earth.

I’m optimizing for friends

Real friends

You shouldn’t count your users

You should count the number of weep that will weep at your funeral

Some people’s funerals are networking conferences

I’m trying to cut my inner circle

Less is more,

Fuck that list I didn’t make

What I need fake friends for?

That’s not what my value comes from

I get my value in communities.

And not online communities that make money in obscure ways (if that)

The communities that don’t scale

Like my 3 friends

I'm optimizing to become a better person

Learning to love the parts of myself that no one claps for

The personality traits no one endorses me on Linkedin for

The relationships I live for

So yeah, I tell my friend, as we’re about to order food,

That’s what I’m optimizing for.

“How about you?”